Ep. 112 Reducing an Over Desire For Food

Hi and welcome to the Mindful Shade Podcast. I'm Paula Parker. I'm here to help you release excess body fat by using your beautiful brain. So today we're going to be talking about overdesire. Overdesire is wanting more food than your body needs. I like to think of it as You're in an overweight body because of overeating due to overdesire for food.

So overdesire is a real problem rather than the symptom, which is just the overweight body. So the solution then is to get to a natural desire for food where you don't want more food than your body needs. And then inevitably you will reach your natural weight. So I want to open today with a couple of examples, because hopefully that will help.

solidify this concept in your mind, which is that we are really good even in general as a society of treating the symptoms rather than treating the root cause of the problem. I think of overdesire as being the root cause versus your excess body weight being the symptom. Okay. So, We bought this house when I was pregnant.

And so we intentionally chose the house that had a smaller yard. We are not the kind of people that are going to be out in the yard, doing yard work all of the time. Now I do envision myself at some point getting really into gardening and really into all that stuff, because I think it's nice to do it.

And it's nice to be outside, but just given our lifestyle right now, like we don't have the bandwidth for that. And so our yard is pretty small. Okay. And we don't pay that much of attention to it. We do our best, but it's kind of like with our, with our grass, it's becoming more clover than it is grass.

Like it's more weeds. And so I spend time mowing it. That's my job. It tends to follow me anyways, which I don't mind. I don't mind being outside and doing it, especially because our yard is not very big, but what we're really doing is treating a symptom there. We just cut the grass. We make it look okay.

We make it look better, but we're not treating the problem, which is these roots are really thriving underground, right? The roots of the weeds, not the roots of the grass. Another example I'll give you is, you know, I had this old apartment and it was a beautiful like character home, character building but it was in rough shape and it had plaster walls and the plaster kept on crumbling.

And so I would just paint over it. And sometimes when I would paint with the roller, some of the plaster pieces would literally come off onto the roller and I just, you know, brush them off and paint over it again. Looked better, it looked better on the surface, but of course the foundation is still falling apart.

And this is what we do, right? We tend to treat the symptom because it's, it's more challenging. It requires more tedious work. It requires more energy, more thoughtfulness to actually take a look at what is the real problem and solve for that real problem that's underlying. And in general, as a society, this is also true, right?

We're really good at treating the symptoms rather than treating the cause of the problem. And it's definitely true in weight loss as well. And it's really important because we can spend all of our time and energy on the symptoms trying to I'm going to be talking about how to reduce our body fat only, and if we're doing that, then all we will be focused on is shortcuts and different ways of eating and quick fixes and trying to figure out how to make that gluten free, sugar free muffin recipe taste edible.

And we will spin our wheels here instead of focusing our energy and attention to why we have all of this overdesire in the first place. Why we want more food than our body needs. If you can think of somebody in your life who they don't overeat and they're not overweight, it's likely because they have a natural desire for food.

Many people go years trying to solve the wrong problem. They try to cut calories and exercise more, workout harder, to be in a calorie deficit, to reduce body fat, and they white knuckle their way through. So that might last for a little while, but inevitably what we find typically is that we just say, ah, screw it.

Right. I'll try again tomorrow. Or if we do have some success, we can't keep it off. This is the people who like go on that show, like biggest loser. They lose all of this weight because they're in some very specific conditions, but of course put them back into their real life into the wild. And. Working out harder and reducing their calories is just not going to work.

It's not going to be sustainable. So if you have been trying that without success, at this point, you can just take a deep breath. You can just let your shoulders drop because you are not going to waste one more minute trying to summon up all of that willpower. Or self discipline to reduce your calories and increase your movement.

Because now, you know, Oh, I've spent all of this time on trying to fix the symptom, the body fat, and I never spent enough time on the cause of the problem. All of that overdesire, all of that wanting more food than my body needs. So I want to teach you about the two main types of overdesire. How does overdesire show up?

Where does it come from? The two main types are physiological. So like our bodies and then emotional. Okay, emotional overdesire. So I'm going to talk about both because essentially to reduce that overdesire and have a natural desire where you just have a natural desire for food and you don't overeat and you reach your natural weight, we need to address both.

Physiological overdesire is caused by a hormone imbalance and blood sugar spikes. and crashes from the way that you've been eating. So you'll know you have this if you get hangry, not just hungry, but like you're in a real mood, like you get hangry, right? You get angry about being hungry. It feels that intense and severe for you.

If you have intense and specific cravings for sugar, for simple carbs like bread or even salty stuff like chips or that kind of thing, but you're very, it's very specific and you have them often. And another one you'll know if you have physiological overdesire is if you can't go four to six hours in a day without eating, if you constantly feel like you need to have something to nibble on, or you need a snack, or you feel like your energy is plummeting.

So to reduce physiological overdesire, we need to eat in a way that's going to balance out those Blood sugar highs and lows and really level out your blood sugar. So this will, of course, the obvious means less sugar, flour, artificial sweeteners, eating more healthy fat protein and fiber rich meals. It will also mean cutting out the snacking in between your meals.

Alright, so let's talk about emotional overdesire, because I think for most of us, we have the concepts, we have the information about how to eat in a really healthy manner. It's more of how do I follow through, and the reason you wouldn't be following through is you have all of this emotional overdesire.

This overdesire is caused by an emotional attachment to food. It's created from our thoughts and feelings. So our thoughts, our brain is creating the feeling of desire for food that our body doesn't need. Our body doesn't need all of that food and yet our brain is wanting it. So the first step is to be aware of all those thoughts that are generating all of that desire in you.

I call them justification thoughts, because we're really justifying our desire, we're justifying our wanting, and then we go ahead and eat the food. So what are you thinking in the moment that makes it okay for you to eat more food than your body needs? Or, in some cases, eat more food than your body needs to release weight?

It could be, I just want it, I'm tired, I deserve it. A bit more won't make a difference, you know, second helpings, that kind of thing. Then, when we think that and we believe it, we don't get what we truly want or deserve, and we don't see a difference on the scale. So you'll say, so okay, how do I change my thoughts?

Well, that's a process. Okay. And that takes some time, but you need to be intentional about it won't just happen. And especially it won't happen if you're not currently aware of what you are already thinking before you overeat. So just start there, start noticing some of your justification thoughts and then decide if you love those reasons for eating something.

But in the meantime, as you are, you know, letting that sink in, letting that percolate in the meantime, don't worry so much about changing those thoughts in real time in that moment, especially when your desire is really high. In those cases, you can decide that you will feel that desire. without eating, without overeating.

In those moments, you want to tune into your body. You want to redirect your brain from listening to those justification thoughts and tune into your body. How does your body feel? What does that desire feel like in your body? You might keep thinking those thoughts. Like you might think I really do want it, but the difference is now you're a fly on the wall.

It's more like I hear you brain. Yep. I know it won't make a difference. I know I really want it. I know it's delicious. And yet here we are. We are feeling, that's what we're doing today. So, you don't have an overeating problem so much as you have an underfeeling problem. Alright, so, let's talk more about desire because what will happen is that when you start doing this and you get good at it, you're able to say no to the food more often, you'll notice the food better.

doesn't really do it for you anymore. Your brain will suggest it when maybe you're in a low mood or you get home from work or you're by yourself and you have the opportunity to overeat. Like all the conditions are in place because that's been your habit. That's your self concept. That's how you've been operating so far, but you won't have the desire to do it.

This is amazing and terrible. Okay. It's amazing because now you've. successfully reduced your overdesire. You don't have all of that wanting and craving in your brain telling you that you just can't resist. You need all of that pleasure. You need all of that pleasure from food, but it can be terrible as you adjust into this new way of living, especially when you don't have anything else in your life.

For that desire to go to think of desire as drive as energy, that energy needs to go somewhere. If you don't actively decide where it's going to go and replace all that time you spent revolved around food. Maybe baking for some of you, overeating, ruminating on what you ate. What you might notice is your brain returns to food.

As food has been a very helpful place for that desire, that energy to go to. It's been a very useful distraction for you. But when you have something else in your life that you can transfer that desire onto, you will derive natural pleasure, a natural reward for your brain and you won't need the food anymore.

But if you aren't intentional about choosing a natural pleasure like a hobby or a project or something you're working towards, your brain might go for more concentrated pleasure and substitute food for online shopping or something like that. Your brain just wants a reward so you might have noticed that it's easier to release weight It's easier to not have all that food noise when you are just busier in your life This is part of the reason you're placing your desire that energy is going to Accomplishing whatever it is that you're busy doing food is no longer the distraction, but here's the thing relying on Keeping your schedule so jam packed that you never have any room for food desire you That will not be the answer either.

At some point, you won't be able to create enough distraction. Okay. Eventually you'll have to deal with the thoughts and the feelings that are causing you to overeat. Your overdesire will simply find a way. So these things need to be done together. Okay. Changing some of your current thinking about food, allowing that desire to be there in the moment until it passes, because it always does.

And finding other things in your life that will really fulfill you. That will fill your cup, that will give you that natural pleasure that you can then transfer that sense of desire onto that, where you get the pleasure from, where you feel really that sense of aliveness. That's what we're all striving for.

I think it's one of the main reasons why we want to release. Weight in the first place is that we want that sense of aliveness in our bodies We want that sense of aliveness in our life for how we feel in our clothes for how we feel more comfortable in our in Our clothing and in our own skin really it's how we're showing up and it's how we're thinking about ourselves That's the aliveness feeling that we're going for Okay, but I want to offer that it's important that you start to create that now While you are releasing the weight, not just withholding that sense of aliveness until you release the weight.

All right, it will make the journey so much more enjoyable and it will be such a skill for at any time you find even at your natural weight your motivation to stay on point with your food starts to wane. You will have this skill set. Okay. I hope that was helpful. I will talk to you again real soon. Okay.

Bye.