Ep. 109 Getting Out of Scale Drama

Hi, and welcome to the Mindful Shade Podcast. I'm Paula Parker. I'm a life coach specializing in food and body to really help you release any excess weight that you have and to help you also stop thinking about food all the time and really feel in charge when it comes to food. So today I want to talk about scale drama.

This is something that I feel like I've personally come a long way with, and I know it can be a real obstacle for a lot of people. And so I really want to help you decide one, if it's going to be a tool that you want to use. And then secondly, if you do decide to use the scale as a tool, how to use it effectively on your own goals, on your own weight loss journey.

So when I start working with clients, we set up two types of goal. The first goal is a process goal. That's a type of goal that If you were to achieve, it would have exponential returns. Essentially. It's like a skill that you would have. That is a process oriented goal that if you mastered it, it would make your weight loss really inevitable.

So that's really an important goal to have. And then the second is more of a tangible weight loss goal. The idea being that our goals really serve as a lighthouse to inspire us. to take action. So it gives us a container. It gives us a timeline. I've been back and forth, as you might know, about whether I want to attach a weight loss goal with a timeline, like, okay, I'm going to lose this amount of weight by Christmas or this kind of thing.

And I think it is valuable in the sense of, yes, we want to be implementing a sustainable way of eating, and this is like a lifelong process, but also it can help us to really narrow in our focus and help us inspire us to take the action that we need in terms of, okay, well, how do we need to grow as a person?

What are the habits that we need to change in order to make this happen by this timeline? So it's just a way to. Increase the intensity in a good way. So long that as you're managing your own brain and managing your mind so that it doesn't feel like pressure. So I think that is the reason why oftentimes I'm myself included, why I didn't want to set a timeline to it because I didn't want to feel the pressure.

But if you can manage your thoughts, pressure, of course, is created by the way that we're thinking about it. Like if I don't hit that goal by that time, then. All these negative things, right? I'm going to believe this about myself. I won't ever be able to do it. All of these terrible things. I'm going to feel so disappointed in myself, all of this things.

But you can imagine that say you're, say your goal is 12 pounds in three months and you hit eight. Well, On that day, if I were to interview you, you're not going to say, you know, I've released eight, but like, I'm so bummed. No, you're going to be like, yeah, I'm really happy. I released eight pounds. It's going to take me a little longer to release 12, but I'm so grateful that I went for this goal because I released the eight, right?

So however, much that you release, you're going to be thrilled about, and then you're going to be in a better mental state. So long as you are not beating yourself up for not hitting that goal, you're going to be in a really good mental space because you've learned all of those skills and you can just continue to succeed.

All right. So it can be helpful. All that said, it can be helpful to have a tangible weight loss goal with a timeline. Okay. Again, so long as you're managing your mind and the scale is one indication of your progress. Of course, it's not the only one. There are other indications. Like your clothes, or maybe you are doing some actual measurements, that kind of thing.

And of course, there's a ton of ways to measure your progress when it comes to a more process goal, right? How you're showing up with food, allowing hunger, stopping it enough, choosing foods that serve you that kind of process oriented goal. But that's not what we're talking about when we're talking about the scale.

Of course, when we're talking about the scale, we're talking about the weight loss that we see on the scale. So that tangible result I've hit it, or I haven't hit it. Let's just say that that is your goal. Let's say you have a three month goal of 12 pounds. Now, why would we want to use the scale as an indication of our progress when we know, and I'll speak to this in this next video.

podcast episode, the inherent downfalls of the scale. It doesn't paint the whole picture. Right. But let's just imagine that that's our goal. 12 pounds in three months, we can imagine a scenario in which we set the goal, come up with a plan, and then we don't weigh ourselves for three months. And we are just sort of hoping that.

We will hit that 12 pound goal in three months. That's an option. So we're not monitoring the number on the scale during that time. Now just ask yourself, do you think you would be more or less likely to hit it, to hit that goal? Now, if we expand the timeline, let's say it's a year. If you want to release 50 pounds in a year, let's say that's your goal.

Are you more or less likely to make progress with that weight loss goal of losing 50 pounds? If you weigh every single day of that year, Or a few times you weigh yourself or not at all. Intuitively, we just know that we're more likely to reach that goal, to see the 50 pounds released if we're weighing ourselves every day.

And the research supports that too. We know that what we focus on improves. It's the same with your money. It's the same with lots of things in life. So if you're not currently weighing yourself every day, that's no problem, but it might be something you consider doing for this reason alone. If you have a specific weight loss goal.

The other reason that you could consider weighing yourself every day, say, versus like once a week, is that you really get a sense of your current weight range. That's important. It's a bit of a misnomer to say, I weigh this exact number. It's much more accurate to think of your weight within a three to four pound range, which accounts for those natural fluctuations that your body's going to have that have nothing to do with.

Muscle or fat changes. And that's what we care about. Of course, we want our muscle to increase. We want our fat to decrease. So you might want to weigh yourself every day because you're more likely to reach your goal. You will have data to know if what you are doing is working because you'll see that your weight range is moving down.

You'll also have the data to know if you need to make changes because you'll see that your weight range is not moving. Or it might be going up, but without this data, it's easy to stay in overwhelm. It's easy to stay confused. It might be easy to inaccurately think that you're doing enough or inaccurately think that what you're doing isn't enough, that it isn't working.

You just don't have the information you need for a good solid foundation in terms of a strategy and clear steps forward. You have to know if it's a strategy problem and you need to make changes to your eating. Or is this a mindset problem in terms of seeing the progress that is happening and acknowledging that and giving yourself some credit and simply being patient with the process.

But without that data, without getting on the scale and actually seeing it day to day, we're really in the dark. We don't have that data. We don't have that information. And What gets in our way of accessing that information, that very useful information is what I think of as scale drama, the rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions we have before and after we weigh ourselves and we see that number.

So here are some signs you might already know. You're like, yeah, I totally have scale drama, but here are some signs to know if I'm speaking to you and you could have, you could see this as an opportunity for growth. Number one is you avoid the scale altogether. Or you only weigh yourself when you are sure there's been some weight loss and you're going to see that number go down.

Number two is you dread weighing yourself. It's a very negative experience for you. Number three is you go down a negative emotional spiral. If you don't see what you were hoping to see on the scale and you feel very disappointed. Number four is that number on the scale that morning impacts how you show up that day.

Whether you are willing to allow hunger, whether you work out that day, how much you pay attention to What you're eating, when you're eating and how much you eat, what you might be thinking as well. I am not somebody who can weigh myself because it triggers me to overeat. And instead what I want to offer is that it's available to you that what you could do is plan in advance on how to manage your thinking and process any emotion that comes up.

Because I want to offer, there's a version of you for whom the number on the scale is does not derail you. And if anything, it actually helps you focus and deepens that fight in you, that drive to achieve your goals. And it really deepens your commitment and curiosity that that could be a possibility when you get on the scale and it doesn't go down.

Imagine that, right? So what we need to do is really get curious about why That number makes sense. And to help you, you need to know this. There's a few things that are going to impact that number that have nothing to do with fat gain or fat loss. Okay. So that's true weight gain or weight loss, right? But it's not fat gain or fat loss.

And that's what we care about. Fluid retention. This is huge. Whether this is from your menstrual cycle, from being on a plane recently from eating carbs the previous day, if you eat a lot of carbohydrates, even if they're complex, like What we think of as healthy carbohydrates, you can retain water just from that from eating a salty soup the day before any kind of sodium, right?

If you go for dinner or you eat out, they use more sodium in their food, and that is going to make your body retain fluid. And you will, that will show up the next day on the scale. Digestion is a huge one, as we know, which fluctuates as well for many people, how much sleep you've had the night before. That can actually affect the number that you see on the scale as well.

And also how much you've been working out, whether there's any inflammation from that. Many things are going to impact weight gain, but not necessarily fat gain. Okay. And most likely you're still, even with all of these variables, you're still going to be within your weight range. So you want to just ask yourself, Are any of these things at play here?

Okay. Get into that curiosity. And if not, if you're like, no, it really should have gone down, then you'll want to zoom out and look at broader timelines, measure progress in weeks, not days. So you might simply have to stay the course with your eating and see what happens the following week. Or ask yourself, how has my eating been?

Right? Have you been eating on point or is there some strategy change that needs to happen in terms of what you're eating, when you're eating, or how much you're eating? Also, there's other variables that can impact your, your ability to release weight. How has your sleep been? How has your activity been?

Like have you been very moving a lot or not? What's your stress level been like recently? How have you been managing your stress? These are all variables that play a role in slowing down weight loss. So notice how the main element in all of this is curiosity. But it can be really hard to get into curiosity if we go straight into disappointment.

You see that number and it just triggers your nervous system and you feel terrible. So, if you don't get ahead of it, it's best to process that disappointment and just, you know, let yourself mope a little bit if you need to. But just know That the more time you spend there, the less time you will be in cultivating calm, commitment, focus, and determination.

The less you will be accessing curiosity and the less access you will have to believing that you can reach your natural weight. which we know is so helpful. If we believe it's possible, we are much more likely to be taking the actions required that we need, making all of those tiny decisions on a daily basis that are really going to move the needle.

So the more emotionally neutral you can be when that scale doesn't go down, the better quality of thinking you will have. And the more likely you are to show up the way you want when it comes to food and make all of those food decisions. We want to have the data. The data is important. So here's some tips on ensuring that you have as consistent data as possible.

The first thing is just weigh yourself at the same time every day, if possible. So get up, use the washroom and then weigh yourself. Another is if you travel quite a bit, then you can find travel scales on Amazon. I haven't bought one myself, but I know that clients of mine have, and they've worked great.

So that's another option. If you are away a lot, but you want to have that data, you want to have that information. Okay. When we work together in coaching, we get more specific on really how to do all of these things. We get more specific on, is this really a strategy issue or is this a mindset issue so that we can look at your really unique situation and see what's going on.

We will also be monitoring your progress along the entire way so that we will have those timelines. We will see, be able to see the trends. So we'll be able to assess more readily. . Okay. Do we need to make a change to your strategy or not? Do we need to focus more on curiosity and get. Get the full picture of what's going on.

Or is this a mindset issue and we need to cultivate some patients. We need to clean up some of your thinking. That's maybe creating some pressure on you, right? So all of that is available and I would love to help you work through that. If this is something that you want to do, make You can feel free to reach out to me at any time, go to my website at mindfulshape.

com and set up a call and we can go from there. Okay. I hope this was helpful. If you want to be weighing yourself so that you get that data, but your brain is just getting in the way. Okay. It doesn't have to be that way. It can be a slow process, but I want to encourage you that the more that you do it and the more that you are very intentional with how you are thinking about that number on the scale, the more you will see results.

Because you won't go down, you know, into the valley of despair or valley of doom. And the more you will be able to really problem solve from a neutral, clean place. Okay. If you have any questions about anything that I've said so far, please feel free to reach out to me. You can find me on Instagram at mindful underscore shape, and I will talk to you again soon.