Ep. 65 Ending Food Drama - Jackeline's Story
Transcript:
Paula: Okay. Today I have another special treat for you. I've got a lot of great feedback about the client journeys that I've shared on the podcast so far, and there will be more coming. So I'm so glad that you are getting value from them. I think it really helps to hear from somebody who has been maybe in a similar situation as you in regards to food.
Oftentimes this is something that maybe we don't talk about as. Blatantly as we're talking about it on this podcast because it's just a sensitive subject, right? And so for many of us it can be very vulnerable topics. So again, I just wanna reiterate how much I really appreciate the clients who come on here and just are really honest and talk about kind of where they were and where they are now.
And it's not always. A hundred percent perfect before and after, because nothing ever is like that. However, it's so cool and I think really [00:01:00] inspiring to see just what is possible when you do the work. So Jacqueline is my guest today and. She really shows us how what brought her in was really overthinking about food, and then her real work was processing emotion instead of turning to food.
I think for so many of us, and myself included, I didn't ever think of myself as an emotional eater. I didn't, I thought I just ate the wrong foods or ate too much or Wanted to snack all the time. I was just maybe more hungry than most people and just couldn't figure out the right diet. But really what is going on?
Oftentimes, yes, diet is important, but oftentimes it's that emotional piece that really makes the difference. And you hear her talking about that and you will also hear her how she is able to follow through on her plan. So, I hope that you get a lot of benefit out of this episode, and I apologize there [00:02:00] are a few glitches on my side on the recording.
I tried to fix them as best as I could but the quality is not spectacular. But I still think that there is a lot of value here, so I'm going to post it. Okay? Talk to you soon. So first I'm curious, what about me and my work drew you to reach out?
Jackeline: Well, I was listening to your podcast and you really spoke to me honestly.
And just like what you were saying, it was something that I've never heard before. I've always struggled with food and body image and just the whole drama in my head and just what you were saying in your podcast and how you spoke, really just. Spoke to me. Mm-hmm.
Paula: So what do you think? Yeah. What do you think resonated with you?
Jackeline: Just what you were, you had a different outlook and approach with food and emotions that I've never heard about before. And I felt like that, like I would implement that in my day-to-day [00:03:00] life and it was working and then I felt like I needed even more help. And that's when I decided to reach out for your actual coaching on 1 0
Paula: And then what was your goal? Like you, there wasn't a lot of weight that you needed to release or wanted to release, so what was your goal?
Jackeline: Yeah, so I've had. Food, drama and body image issues, like pretty much my whole life. Mm-hmm. So I felt I just wanted to get out of that. Especially the whole, like thinking about food 24 7, always thinking about losing weight.
Like I have had that pretty much my whole life. And even though I was probably the lowest. Weight that I've been, when I decided to get on a program, I still felt like I needed help in that area. Just like the, the mind drama. I felt like it was just an everyday living that I had with it, and I just wanted to be free from it.
Paula: And then did you have any like concerns or worries about starting coaching?
Jackeline: Just that it was different. It was [00:04:00] not it wasn't, it was just an unknown territory for me, so that was pretty much my only concern. And obviously if it worked or not, because you do invest your time and your money and I've invested so much money on every type of weight loss products under the sun.
So I just, you know, that was always I guess the only issue that I had,
Paula: Looking back now, what do you think was holding you back?
Jackeline: My mind. Yeah, well my mind and also how I, my relationship with the food, you know? Cause I would always, I would instead of processing my emotions, I would go to food and I didn't realize I was doing that so much.
And then just coaching with you just made me realize how I was just going to food for every type of emotion. And also even doing like the black and white thinking, being really restrictive, all that stuff. Mm-hmm. That really helped me.
Paula: Yeah. Okay. So tell me more about that. Like paint the picture for me.
Where were you at in [00:05:00] terms of like your relationship with food before we started?
Jackeline: So I honestly was always very Guess nervous or scared around food because I always, I was always trying to lose weight always. So I would always be like, okay, what am I going to eat? For, I was always thinking about food.
What am I gonna eat? Oh, I'm eating too much. I always be re have be like, Feel bad for what I ate, if I ate bad, you know, if I ate too much. And then the weekends would come and the weekends were always kind of hit or miss for me. And this is why I also couldn't lose those last 15 pounds because I would do really good on the weekdays and then the weekends would come, and then it was just kind of a vicious cycle.
Paula: Yeah. Looking back now, what was getting in the way of on the weekends?
Jackeline: Well now thinking about it, I now plan my weekends and food isn't an important thing as it used to be, or drinking, cuz drinking would also be mm-hmm. Involved in the weekends. Mm-hmm. So it wasn't, I [00:06:00] used to put so much. Power, I guess with over with food and the drink that that now I'm actually experiencing the weekends, like, you know, having fun and just not associating food and drinking with fun.
So that's been a huge difference from back then. Back then food and drinking was the fun, you know, I have to like, go crazy with the food or the drinking and cuz I needed the fun, but that really wasn't now that I like, you know, did the whole program and Looked at everything, the whole picture. It was not that.
Paula: Yeah, it wasn't actually like creating the fun.
Jackeline: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It was actually just making me feel worse because I would, after those weekends, I would just feel my body wasn't good. I so in chew with my body now, so after even. Those weekends, like in the beginning, I still kind of had them. I still feel so bad in my body after them when I had put so much food and alcohol in it that I [00:07:00] don't want to do it anymore.
And it's, you know, it's just a whole different mindset.
Paula: Yeah. How do you like feeling in your body now?
Jackeline: I like feeling airy, like, you know not so full anymore. I like to be hungry because then I actually get to enjoy my food.
Paula: Was that different before, like what was your experience with hunger before?
Jackeline: I would hate being hungry.
It would be kind of like, it would kind of gimme anxiety cuz I'm like, okay, I, you know, like, what if I'm get. I would overeat to compensate so I wouldn't be hungry later, but then I would never really enjoy, I feel like I would just be eating because it's 12 o'clock and it's sunshine or it's 6:00 PM at dinnertime, like I just have to eat.
Now I'm eating because my body actually wants to eat. Mm-hmm. Which is
Paula: amazing. Yeah. That's such a shift from going the scarcity and fear around being hunger. Mm-hmm. Being hungry and then to actually liking it.
Jackeline: [00:08:00] Yeah, I know.
Paula: What were some of your hurdles as you went through the program?
Jackeline: Definitely going out to eat that was re my hurdles or going on vacation.
Yeah. Because I tend to do really well by myself or you know, a normal routine, but then when I go out, there's a lot going on and it's kind of hard to sit back and. And really ask myself, do I really want this? Especially if like, things are just being thrown at you. Mm-hmm. So those were, those were two, my two main hurdles.
Paula: Mm-hmm. And how did you, how would you say you overcame that?
Jackeline: Being prepared and planning That has been amazing. Just having my exceptions planned out and knowing, okay, I'm just gonna have this. And sticking to it and then knowing also that if I do add more exceptions throughout the night, it's okay.
Paula: It's totally okay. Like it is not this whole drama, which you mentioned you'd like beat yourself up about it before.
Jackeline: A [00:09:00] lot of self criticism before. Yeah. But now there's just so much more compassion.
Paula: I feel like when you create a plan, you're really good for the most part of following through, which I know so many people struggle with.
Mm-hmm. What has, how, how are you able to do that?
Jackeline: Honestly, journaling has been so amazing for me. Just writing and then also your workbooks. Like just whenever I'm feeling, let's say I'm feeling hunger, I just go to your workbook and look at hunger and just do those steps and it really does work. Or if I'm feeling any type of emotion when I don't even know what I'm feeling, I'm just in a bad mood.
I do go to your workbook and. Actually write down the activity and that helps immensely.
Paula: Yeah, and that's one of the things that I think you did so well. Mm-hmm. Right from the beginning, which is why you saw, I think you saw the results right at the beginning too, is cause you were so keen on implementing and like integrating coaching and what you were learning.
It's so easy for us, myself [00:10:00] included, to take in a lot of information and then to not. Actually do the work. And you really did that even in the beginning.
Jackeline: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I, I never really journaled before, but that was, that was a game changer because it just, it get your, it gets your thoughts. Even if I had a bad day the day before, like it doesn't necessarily have to be from your workbook, just anything.
Just really just gets it out and just makes you feel better.
Paula: Yeah. Yeah. Because it's a way for you to like process it. See it for what it is and perhaps shift your perspective and then put it behind you and move forward. Yes, exactly. Yeah. That's so good. Okay. What was your favorite part about the coaching program or doing this type of work?
Jackeline: Succeeding in like actually getting to where I want it to be and it actually work. That's pretty amazing and like I just have a completely different mindset from before. So just this whole learning process has been honestly [00:11:00] amazing. I felt like I was just given this body before and I was never gonna.
How the body I have now and you know, cause I was like that pretty much my whole life and that was at my lowest of you. So I mean, like I've always struggled with food, I've always struggled with weight. Mm-hmm. And now that I've come this far, it, the whole process has been amazing. It's just a great way of looking at weight loss and just food and body image in yourself.
What are you most proud of? I'm most proud of dealing with my emotions. Because that honestly came in hand with everything. Not only food, with just my relationships with people, I take on my emotions also in a different way than I did before. Mm-hmm. And it's pretty amazing.
Paula: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Which leads me to exactly, to my next question of like, how did you, what did you notice in terms of how coaching affected other aspects of your life?
Jackeline: Yeah, I've noticed my relationship with other people. There were before I would get so bothered [00:12:00] from things at work and I would transfer it at home and then that would transfer it to food. That would lead to food and alcohol. And now I, I, I see it as a completely different thing, like depending on the situation, I know how to now navigate my emotions and really think about it where I don't have this feeling all day, and then I'm going to food and alcohol for it.
Paula: Such an amazing skill that you will be able to rely on pretty much your whole life. Like that doesn't mean you're not gonna have setbacks or challenging circumstances, but at least now you have the , you know that you have that capacity and whether it's stress or anger or frustration or, and you're able to process it enough so that by the time you get home you haven't just stuffed it down all day and you just need to hit the escape button and like need some reprieve through food.
Okay. What surprised you, if anything, about doing this kind of work?
Jackeline: Probably what I just told you that it was, it was more than just food. Cuz [00:13:00] I honestly came in for the food drama. I was always, always thinking about food. Okay. So, and that was pretty much my whole life.
I was always known as like me and food. It was just like a thing I guess. I don't know. So, but I, I just thought, I just came for it for weight loss and just to get away from food. Mm-hmm. And then through that, through your coaching, I just, Implemented well, you helped me. Helped me with my emotions and just with my relationships anywhere.
And also with myself too, cuz I never really thought about myself or even thought about self-love or anything like that. So you helped a lot with that. And I didn't come for that either. I just came for weight loss and food. And now I have this whole new respect for myself and just compassion for myself.
Yeah. And now I know how to deal with certain situations with my emotions.
Paula: Yeah. Amazing. I know. I think that's what's so good about coaching because we, and that's so good about weight loss too. Yeah. Is because we want the results [00:14:00] so bad that we're willing to do the work. We're willing to, okay. Practice patience even when we don't feel patient and we feel very impatient and we just want it now.
Willing to be like, okay, what do I need to do in order to get the result? And then you're willing to do the work and then it extends to all of your life because you start changing your self concept.
Jackeline: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Paula: Yeah. Okay, cool. So this is my favorite question because I, the reason I I this is I really wanna show other women like what's possible and also help them see themselves and other people. Right. But sometimes we can feel so isolated and with your journey. I'm so curious. What do you think other women need to know about reaching their goal weight and keeping it off?
Jackeline: To not stress about it. You know, there's no, I've, my whole life, like, well, even during the program, I was like, okay, I wanna be, I wanna [00:15:00] lose 15 pounds and I have to do it in like six months because I've done do it in six months.
Like, I'm gonna be a failure or I'm gonna fail. Like, that is so not true, and it's sticking me like six months or five months to realize that, that there's no, it's okay. There's no. There's no time. If you want to ha, if you wanna lose weight, you will lose weight. If you do the work, implement the work, put in the work, just don't rush yourself cuz it's, I feel like everyone's always trying to rush like, okay, lose 10 pounds in a week.
If you just do a watered funds, like I've done that too. It's like, and you end up gaining it all back, but you have to really slowly, and Shirley is the best way. Mm-hmm So just don't put so much pressure on the time.
Paula: I think that's such a good thing to remember. Yeah. So like anyone who's listening, they're like feeling rushed.
Just know that that's very optional. You don't have to feel rushed. Yeah. And doesn't mean you're not gonna reach your goal. Yeah. You can do it without that [00:16:00] stress. You can do it without that feeling of wanting just to get there because you think there is gonna be so much better than what it is. Yeah.
Exactly. You say it's gonna be better in some ways, but it's not gonna be as good in other ways, right? Yes, exactly. Still have like a 50 50 emotional life. Okay. Yeah. So last question, what's next for you on your journey?
Jackeline: So I'm still, you know, I'm still practicing on everything that you've shown to me. I, one of your resources has like, books to read.
So I'm, I, I'm reading one right now, so, You know, I'm just still practicing with my mind. I, it's still a work in progress too. I am human. I have some up and downs too, so, yeah, I'm just, And you've also, I wanna add that you've made me implement a certain area in my life that I really didn't think about, which is creativity.
Mm-hmm. So now I'm starting my own blog and doing [00:17:00] something, you know, like a hobby for myself, where before, like I, I thought about it, but I never took action. Yeah. And. Honestly, thanks to you. I like finally took action or something, so, oh yeah. So that's so cool.
Paula: Yeah. Do you mind sharing what your blog is so that if people wanted to check it out, they could look at it?
Jackeline: Yeah, it's the fashionable drifter. It's still a work in progress. There's not, there's not much fashion yet, but it's a lot of it's travel. Travel right now.
Paula: Okay. Great. Yeah. Okay, so send me the link after this and I'll put it a show notes for anyone who just wants to check it out. Okay.
That was my interview with Jacqueline. I hope that you took away some inspiration of what could be possible for you as well. And Jacqueline mentions my. Workbook that she did a lot of her journaling and self-coaching exercises in, that's something that I do use exclusively with clients. However, if you haven't already, there are quite a few free resources on my website@mindfulshape.com and there are.[00:18:00]
Similar self-coaching worksheets and exercises, a bunch of PDFs that you can download. If you are interested in not just taking in this information on the podcast, but also doing your Daily 15, doing your thought work on paper, which if you got anything from Jacqueline's interview, you will hear that that was a significant part of her success.
Okay, thanks. Bye.
Check out her travel blog at fashionabledrifter.com