Ep. 49 Getting Back on Track Easily
Hi and welcome to the Mindful Shape podcast. I’m Paula Parker, and I’m a life and weight loss coach.
So recently I took a week off and it got me thinking about how most of us relax a little around our weight loss efforts during that time and then when we get back to normal life we “get back on track” with our health and weight loss goals. Sometimes we’re trying to get back on track when we’ve been overeating whether that’s been at one meal or for days, weeks or months. And it’s the fall and often this time of year feels like a fresh start too and it’s time to get back on track.
So I’ve been thinking about how I can best support you not only getting on track now when it comes to health and life goals but also how I can teach some tools for how to turn things around quickly and easily when you find yourself in that “screw it” phase I’ve referenced before. When you’re like, “screw it I don’t care, I just want to eat this right now.”
To be honest I’ve been a bit uneasy about this topic and so I want to add a little asterisk to the whole notion of “on track/off track” The reason I’m using these terms and why I titled this podcast Getting back on track easily is that this is so much part of our lexicon and I’ll bet you knew exactly what I was talking about when you saw it and can relate to it. But my hesitation about using this concept at all is that I really think it stems from diet mentality of being on a diet and being healthy and being good or right vs being off our diet, eating badly and being wrong. And I don’t know about you but thinking in terms of all or nothing when it comes to my diet has never served me. So perfectionism is never the goal here and it’s not required to reach your weight loss goal. When I’m talking about being on track - I don’t want that to be misconstrued as being perfect with your plan.
Maybe you might consider softening you attachment to this concept altogether. So you never consider yourself off track - You’re always “on track” because you’re still alive. You’re still in your life. We eat to live. We’re always living. Someone like my husband who’s at his natural weight never thinks in these terms of being on or off track when it comes to eating. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t indulge sometimes, but he’s not creating a narrative that he needs to get back on track. I want to offer that your future self who is living at her natural weight is the same - indulges when she wants to but is just living her life without being on or off track. And so we want to start practicing that mindset NOW.
I think what happens when we think in these terms is that it lends itself to extending that screw it period - “well I’m off track now I’m going to enjoy it and eat anything I want.” And then also when we’re “on track” we can find ourselves thinking, “sure I’m doing well now but it’s only a matter of time”…and that feels unsettling. So there’s not much of an upside here.
So just want to drop that possibility that when you notice your brain doing that binary thing, which of course it’s going to do. And because I could come up with a better way to explain my solutions without using those terms, I’ll be using off track and on track in the episode to make my points. But when you notice yourself in it, you can shift your thinking around it now if you want to because off track and on track is all made up. Ok, so what do you do instead?
How do you end this never ending start/stop cycle?
Before you get back on track:
Ask yourself 2 questions:
When you reflect, did you make a conscious decision about going off track? Ex. You may not even have been off track if you decided you were going to allow more exceptions or less hunger and followed through on that. In which case you’re right on track, you’re simply making different decisions about your protocol.
OR what’s more common is that you didn’t decide to go off track - you didn’t go into your weekend or vacation with a plan at all and slowly the overeating and drinking crept in until it hit a breaking point or you got home and thought enough’s enough I need to get back on track here
2. Where did you notice some wins or some improvement from before? Maybe this trip or weekend you had 2 cookies and stopped there whereas previously you’d have 5 or you stuck to your meals when previously you snacked all day and never allowed any hunger. Let your brain see that you are changing in positive ways even if they are still things you’re working on. It’s important to give this equal air time because our brain loves to focus on where we didn’t follow through.
But what do you do when you’re really in it and feel no motivation to get back on track at all. What about those times when you’re in screw it:
First, don’t believe the lie that the food is what you want most - Know that when your brain is telling you “It just tastes too good to resist” what’s really happening is your brain wants the emotional escape or distraction. It’s not so much that the food is going to taste so good but it’s that the escape and distraction is going to feel so good.
Now if you’re like, but it REALLY does taste so good - I know it’s also an escape and distraction but that salted caramel ice cream really DOES taste good. Maybe it’s not ice cream for you, so think of your favorite food and think of where you would most enjoy eating it - likely on the couch watching your favorite show. Imagine that experience and how good you imagine your food to taste. Maybe that’s a 10 for you on a pleasure scale. Now imagine eating that same food while your fire alarm is broken and going off in your house. There's no fire - it just won’t turn off. How good does that food taste at this moment? Hardly pleasurable at all right? Maybe 1 or 2. How can this be? It’s because the taste is very much tied to our thoughts and feelings. Remind your brain that taste is subjective and you can control your desire for even your most favorite foods by how you’re thinking. And like I said, a thought you can practice now is: It’s not the food, it’s the escape and distraction that’s going to feel so good.
Adopt the belief that every single bite is a decision in and of itself. So just because you had a little of something doesn’t mean you need to keep going. Just because you had one cookie doesn’t mean you need to have 2 or 5. You are more than capable of stopping at any time because every bite is a new choice. It’s independent of the previous choice. They are separate. It’s important to know that.
Like a scientist would, observe yourself with curiosity. “Hmmmm, I really notice my brain keeps looping back to making popcorn tonight. I wonder why. I wonder if it’s because I ate cookies today and my brain is like, let’s keep this dopamine train going - I mean you’re off track anyway so what difference does it make?!” When you can put some space in between your thoughts and your actions with calm curiosity it will change everything for you.
Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a child. Just this morning I was using scissors to open a new package of coffee and my toddler Tristan reached for them and got really upset when he didn’t get them from me. So of course, I was calm with him and explained gently that I can see he really wants them but they could hurt him and scissors are not for babies. I wasn’t upset that he wanted them right - but we get so mad at ourselves for wanting food. Then we feel angry or deprived or have a little pity party for ourselves. Vs being like, of course you want popcorn, it tastes great AND we’re not doing that tonight. Then feeling calm, you can work it into the plan if that’s what you really want.
Alright let’s do a super quick recap.
Consider dropping the all or nothing thinking of being on track or off track. It could just be you living your life.
To end the cycle of diet starts tomorrow mentality, really take the time to reflect on why the overeating and so called “off track” happened at all - hint there was either not enough planning or follow through. Now we can solve for this.
When you find yourself in the “off track” screw if mode there are 4 options. Choose one or all - it’s a choose your own adventure deal. Remember those books? They always intrigued me when I was little but I wasn’t very good at them - never picked the right choice to get to the end so I gave up on them.
1) Remember that It's the not so much that the food is going to taste so good but it’s that the escape and distraction is going to FEEL so good.
2) Adopt the belief that every single bite is a decision in and of itself.
3) Observe yourself with curiosity - not judgment of your desire
4) Speak to yourself as you would a child, with care and love
Okay that’s what I have for you. I’ve been away a lot and taking care of my son more so with a full client load the podcast has taken a back seat, but I’m back on track now! Just kidding. But seriously, stay tuned for more regular podcasts this fall. Thanks so much for listening. Talk to you soon. Bye.