Ep. 29 Weight Loss Decisions for Success
Hi and welcome to the Mindful Shape podcast. I’m Paula Parker. I’m a life coach and I focus on helping women use their beautiful brains to release the excess weight on their bodies AND be in charge around food.
Today we’re talking all about decisions because being good at releasing extra weight means being good at making decisions about your food, about movement and exercise and about self-care, all while doing everything else on your to-do list!
Our brains make decisions differently when we’re calmly planning ahead (using our prefrontal cortex) versus making impulse judgments (like adding that cinnamon bun to our coffee order ). Deciding what to eat ahead of time will reduce brain chatter and decision fatigue, and keep you on track with your weight loss goals.
I doubt the idea of meal planning gets you fired up. Maybe you’ve tried to follow someone else’s meal plan and it lasted two weeks and you were like, I can’t do this. I don’t WANT to do this. Hardly anyone wants to meal plan right? And it can feel overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be complicated at all. I’ll tell you how to make it super simple and easy.
Now if you’re thinking that’s all great but HOW do I get myself to actually follow through? That’s the crucial part right? I’m not going to lie, if you’re used to breaking promises to yourself, whether that’s with food, exercise, or self-care, this will be hard at first. HOWEVER your brain is AMAZING. You can recondition your brain to rebuild trust with yourself about your decisions and commitments. And my goal is that after listening to this episode you’ll be much more equipped to start living into that version of yourself.
The key ideas here are:
That there are 4 types of decisions in life. I learned this recently as I’ve been focusing on how we humans do decision making. It was really helpful for me to learn these to provide a framework for thinking about my own decisions, so I hope you’ll find it interesting and helpful too.
Then we’ll focus on the specific decisions you need to create your weight loss plan. I can almost guarantee you aren’t thinking about these yet and they are critical to your success.
And then finally after you're convinced of the VALUE of meal planning, because if you’re like me, you won’t do anything if you don’t know the reason for doing it, you’ll learn my meal planning strategies to make it super easy and simple.
For this episode I also have a beautifully designed handout that has all this info, so if you want to sit back and relax without having to take any notes, that’s available to you so that you can use this to create your own plan. Go to mindfulshape.com/resources where you’ll also have access to ALL of my pdf handouts as well.
Okay let’s go.
There are 4 types of decisions.
The Straightforward Decision - This is a decision you know needs to be made.
For example, You need to eat SOMETHING in your day. You’re not going to go without food completely. Very straightforward. A decision has to be made about this at least once a day.
The Trying Decision - This when you’re “Trying” to make a decision (there’s lots of drama, usually you don’t like the options). We’re flying to Calgary, Alberta this week and for weeks I was trying to decide whether to bring our dog with us, or if he’d be better off being boarded with another family. He’s a sensitive little soul, so both options will stress him out. While boarding him for a week is expensive, bringing him is also inconvenient, especially because this is the first time we’re travelling with our baby. Anyway, the point is I don’t like either option. In weight loss this can show up in trying to decide what food plan to follow - low carb, keto, intermittent fasting, what about eating intuitively? How does that work right? Can you lose weight eating intuitively? If you doubt you can, then that’s not a great option either. Many of you may think you need to pick the “right” food plan to lose weight and that can cause a lot of drama. Lots of thoughts and feelings.
The False Decision - You say you’ve made a decision, then your actions are different.
Ex. You say you’re going to stop snacking, stop overeating, stop eating sugar but you don’t. So common in weight loss right. This is a big one. If this is showing up for you, that’s okay, it’s simply time to course correct.
The Unknown Decision- This is an interesting one. There is a decision to be made that you’re not aware of. It shows up in confusion.
Ex. If you’re saying to yourself, “I don’t know why I’m still struggling with my weight.” You may need to DECIDE to do something differently than what you have been doing. You may be operating on old programming when it comes to food choices. For example, until I decided ahead of time not to eat while preparing dinner, I was popping in a little bit of this and that and taking in much more than I realized before I had even sat down for my meal. It was simply a habit that felt automatic.
So those are the 4 types of decisions: The Straight Forward, Trying, False and Unknown. Now you can look at what’s going on for you and think, hmmm what type of decision is this and what do I need to do about it.
I think so often we think we only need to make one big decision to lose weight. And that somehow that will carry us through to all of the other smaller decisions we make day to day. For example, we decide we need to eat healthier or we need to stop overeating. So it’s Sunday night and we say, enough is enough, I’m starting tomorrow. And then Monday comes and for breakfast, lunch and dinner (and often in between meals throughout the entire day) we need to make SO many more decisions.
Should I eat now or wait
Am I really hungry or is this emotional or habitual?
Where am I going to get the food? (store, take out, fast food)
Should I spend the money on this? Is it too expensive?
What do I FEEL like eating?
What am I going to eat?
Is that healthy?
How much should I have?
Is it enough food, too much?
Should I have dessert?
If I eat this, how will it influence what I have for my next meal
That's only a few, but I’ll bet you could come up with even more. And think about our state when we are making these 11 or so decisions in the moment. We often underestimate the impact our mood and physical state have on our decision making. This is why when your belly is full you feel confident you’ll be able to stick to that diet the next day. But then during the next day when you get tired and hungry, you’re like, screw that yesterday person who thought this diet was a good idea, I’m too tired and hungry to make a salad with salmon like I planned.
What’s happening here is Decision Fatigue. By the end of your day, you’ve not only made a hundred decisions related to food but your brain has had to make decisions about work, family, what needs tidying up around the house, whether you want to making plans with friends and a million other life decisions. And when our brain is fatigued, we don’t have the resources to make the best decisions for ourselves, instead our brain will go with the easiest, most pleasurable option in the moment. Our best decision making is done ahead of time with our prefrontal cortex.
There are 4 weight loss decisions that you can make ahead of time that will help you be successful.
Weight Loss Decisions
Decide to be committed 10/10 There’s a difference between wanting to lose weight and being committed to losing weight. While wanting something feels good - it feels great to want things, commitment doesn’t. Commitment requires us to do things we don’t feel like doing. You’re likely 10/10 in your desire, but you also need to DECIDE to be a 10/10 on your commitment level. And listen, you may here this and be like yeah know I’m not there mentally. It’s not a priority for me right now and that’s great. It’s important to KNOW rather than continuing to make false decisions around losing weight. But you have now decided from a place of power, that you’re not ready at this exact moment to be committed and do what it takes.
You need to decide what your method is going to be to get there (What is your protocol, your support systems, and resources). Be clear and specific about how you want to eat, what movement you want to include and all of the infrastructure you have at your disposal already. Maybe you have a food tracker app, a scale, an online fitness membership, a yoga mat, a friend who’s also on this journey you can talk to. Of course you have this podcast and all of the free resources on my website. If you don’t think it’s necessary to write out a list, I know. I would be thinking that too, but here’s the value. When you see your plan and all of the support you have available, it’s really helpful for your brain to BELIEVE you have everything you need to do this. You probably have much more than you think. AND if your list is looking lean, then you know what you need to do and likely why you haven’t been successful. You simply haven’t set up the infrastructure you need to succeed. So now you know where to begin.
Decide how you’re going to measure your progress. What are your goals? Is it a number on the scale? Do you also want to make intangible goals, such as feeling more confident or feeling in charge around food? How will you know if you’re making progress? Get clear so that you’re brain can’t tell you it’s not working. With my clients, we use a number scale out of 10 to measure the intangibles and we check in every three months.
Decide in advance how you’re going to relate to obstacles and missteps. You know there will be obstacles - they run out of your brand of yogurt at the store and it’s the only one you like (this one happens to me a lot). Or you’re too tired to make the dinner you planned. Have a plan for these types of things so that you have your own back, no matter what comes. When you eat off your plan, how will you treat yourself? Will you beat yourself up and vow to change or will you get curious and be kind to yourself, knowing that you have years of habits that don’t simply change because you make one decision to lose weight.
Now we’re going to get practical about how to meal plan. This doesn’t need to be complicated.
It takes 5 minutes to sit down on Sunday night and jot down the meals for the week. It’s not set in stone, you can change it if you need to, but this gives you direction - a plan. This way you know exactly what you need to buy for the week.
Here’s an example:
Breakfast: Eggs, coffee, cream, oatmeal
Lunch: Big salad with chicken and fatty dressing
Dinner: Burrito Bowls
For most people, breakfast and lunch can be pretty much the same every day. That helps keep it really simple. You’ll likely want more variability with your dinner. In our house we have about 9-10 dinners that are on rotation. Before I started doing this, I would often complain that I didn’t know what to make for dinner, I didn’t have any ideas and it would feel like a real chore. But now, it’s all planned and I love that because it’s one less thing to think about.
If right now you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to think about what I’m going to eat ahead of time.” I’m pushing back on that. It’s not true. You already spend A LOT of time thinking about food. Either what you’d REALLY like to eat and overeat or you’re thinking about what you ate that wasn’t healthy and feeling bad about it. Instead, use that brain power toward planning for a way of eating that’s going to support your weight loss success. And if you have more money than time, there are a lot of meal prep delivery services out there now.
There will be nights when you don’t have time or the inclination to make what’s on your plan. That’s totally fine. This is why you will have staples prepped so you can quickly throw something together.
For example, You can cook a few chicken breasts, a big pot of quinoa, or cut veggies so you can throw a salad together at the last minute.
Or maybe you have frozen soup or chilli that you can easily heat up. This isn’t rocket science right, but most people don’t take the time to really set themselves up to win.
We are ALL busy. No one has extra time lying around to meal prep, so we need to DECIDE to prioritize this. And make it more fun by pairing it with catching up with a friend, watching Netflix or listening to a podcast.
I touched on this earlier and that’s to have Plan B, C & D. If you’re super exhausted and you don’t want to make the meal you planned, what will you do? What healthy options can you have on hand, what if you don’t have those? What can you get at the store that’s really simple?
When you get really clear and solid on these decisions, there are no other decisions to be made. That’s the beauty of this. In the beginning though, it seems optional to follow through if you’ve been someone who’s not in the habit of keeping your word to yourself. Stick with it. It’s so important because it’s how we respond in these moments, when we used to go off track throughout our day, week and month that determines whether we move closer or farther away from our goal.
Sometimes people are resistant to planning because it feels restrictive or too rigid. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. In my experience, this is EXACTLY how you achieve freedom around food. So for example, if the new standard that you’ve set for yourself is that you don’t snack after dinner, you won’t be going back and forth about it in your head all night. It’s simply not an option. Initially your brain will throw a little tantrum but eventually it doesn’t even occur to you to do that. That’s how it’s been for me.
So I have a confession to make. When I was around eleven I think, I was in a stealing club with two of my friends and I stole this processed cheese in a tube. I don’t even think they make it anymore, but it was something my mom wouldn’t buy for me because it was actually on the pricey side. Essentially gourmet cheese whiz, I think that’s what they were going for. Anyway, after I stole it I felt so guilty about it, I told my friends I was out of the club. But imagine if I stayed in the club and stuck with it, let’s just say for years. So here’s me, I’m stealing through my teenage years and then into my twenties. Then let’s imagine I turn thirty and decide, I really shouldn’t steal anymore. At first when I go into the store, it’s going to be on my mind whether to steal something. It’s still an option right? But I’ll bet that when you go into the store, you don’t agonize over whether you'll pay for the food or you’ll steal it. It’s because it’s not an option.
This thought, “it’s simply not an option” is available to you right now about anything. You can decide that you no longer binge, that you no longer snack after dinner, whatever you want that serves you. It really can be that simple, because all of our actions come from our thoughts. We DECIDE it’s not an option and then practice thinking that over and over.
Okay quick recap.
There are 4 types of decisions.
Straightforward, Trying, False and Unknown.
The weight loss decisions you need to make are:
Decide to be committed 10/10
You need to decide what your method is going to be to get there (What is your protocol, your support systems, and resources)
Decide how you’re going to measure your progress.
Decide in advance how you’re going to relate to obstacles and missteps.
Meal prep doesn’t have to be complicated. Take 5 minutes at the beginning of the week to choose your meals. Prioritize going to the store, and having healthy food on hand. Have a strategy already in place for when you’re too tired or simply don’t want your planned meal.
The decisions we make create everything we have in our lives, so that’s why they’re so important to make ahead of time, with your best interests at heart.
If you’d like the PDF that goes with this episode you can find it at mindfulshape.com/resources. Thank you so much for listening, I really truly appreciate your time and attention. Take care and I’ll talk to you soon.