Hi, and welcome to the mindful shape podcast. I'm Paula Parker and I'm a life and weight loss coach. I have a little bit of time here. It's a holiday here. And I usually work on holidays, but kind of halftime because our preschool is closed. And so my son is home. He's three. And so I'm often working and then I've taught him to knock.

So at least I have a little bit of a warning, but he likes just to barge in and see what I'm up to. And they went to the beach, Weather's beautiful. And they went to the beach. My husband took both our kids to the beach for about an hour or so. So I am going to quickly record this and have no interruptions unless I come home early, in which case you might get to meet Tristan.

Okay. So let's get started. My last episode, I talked about doubling down and. You know, when does it make sense to double down and where to put your focus and just some pitfalls to avoid, like things to at least know about before you go in headfirst on doubling down on your plan. And so today is a little bit of a continuation because since then, I've really been thinking about the frame of mind you need to be in to make that successful.

I want this episode to really inspire you to, if nothing else, really believe in yourself. When it comes to reaching any of your weight loss goals, whether you have 50 pounds, whether you have 10 pounds, whatever that is, maybe you have more than 50 pounds, maybe you have five pounds, whatever that is. And also of course, feeling in charge around food and using this goal or what you've maybe been thinking about as like struggle with food or a weight loss struggle as a way to reconnect to yourself and your body.

Maybe after years or decades of disconnecting, because that's what the practice of overeating is really. It's a disconnection from yourself. It's an act of turning away rather than toward. So we need to make your brain a safe and inspired place so that when you are doubling down on your eating plan and it's feeling hard, you will in fact turn toward yourself rather than, you know, say screw it and turn to food.

So I really want to sell you on you and your ability to do this. Whatever doubling down looks like for you. In my last episode, if you haven't listened to it, just go back and listen to it. It'll help you decide on what that plan might look like. So I'll tell you a little story. I worked with a client who was doing really well on a protocol.

And even though, you know, the scale, the numbers on the scale weren't, wasn't the progress that she really wanted. It was a little bit slower than she had hoped for. She was feeling great overall, both physically, mentally, emotionally. So she was working out more. She like adopted a new workout plan. She was feeling really good about she was feeling better physically, which now thinking back, actually, I think that's probably one of the reasons why the scale wasn't going down.

So if you've started putting on muscle I noticed even with me, with my doing my physical therapy, I noticed I started putting on muscle quickly. And it's probably why, you know, the scale, even though my eating was on point, I wasn't really noticing on the scale, even though I was noticing in my clothes.

So of course we know that, but. It never hurts to have a reminder. Okay. So she was working out more. She was feeling better. Physically. She was choosing foods that really served her body. And of course she was allowing some hunger before she was eating anything. And another thing she was working on was, you know, when her brain was offering her just to eat a little bit more at her meals, she was getting better and better at pausing, checking in, and then making a kind decision.

choice. So whether that was to eat more or not, it was a kind choice for her, right? Cause it was tapping into what she really needed and what she truly wanted. And then she had a personal setback. So she was going for promotion and she didn't get it. So she found out on a Friday and she was, you know, okay.

Friday night in terms of her eating, just kind of going through the motions. But then on Saturday she was alone for the day. And she didn't plan her protocol and she noticed that she was feeling down. So she was aware that she was feeling low, she was feeling down, but she just didn't feel like she had the capacity to work through it.

So even though she's like, I know I have the tools, you know, I know I have the tools. I just don't want to do it. So her brain offered up food and snacking and she went for it and ended up overeating on that Saturday. So I wanted to share this example because I just want to normalize that even if you are doing really well, you can still have setbacks days where you don't follow through.

Okay. So just keep in mind that sustainable weight loss is a skill set. I often think of it as a set of skills that you can learn and get better at over time. So I often use the example of learning a new language. If you are learning a new language. and doing great, doing the classes, maybe showing up for your practice sessions, and then you have to face something in your life, some sort of adversity, like you find out that you didn't get the promotion, or whatever you were going for, and you stop practicing, or you are just doing it less, you don't make that mean, well, I guess I've learned zero of that language.

No, you think, well, it makes sense that I took a pause from learning and acquiring and practicing those new skills or that new language, but you still have the skills. You still have learned what you've learned. And I think when I'm talking about skills here, the main ones when it comes to releasing weight and keeping it off are befriending hunger, choosing foods that serve you, stopping it enough, managing your thoughts and processing your feelings.

So if you have a setback. And you are wanting to double down, go all in following any kind of setback or overeating. Just remember that you're no further behind, not at all. If anything, you're actually further ahead because you have now reinforced your desire for your goal. Your desire for your weight loss goal and getting a hold of this and, and releasing the struggle of weight loss and feeling in charge around food, that desire is even stronger.

Then it was before. You can choose that. You can decide, you know what? I'm, I'm doubling down. I care about this even more than I did before. So what you're doing is you're just reoriented, right? You are now someone who's even more committed, who's especially clear that this is what you want. To not overeat, to live in a body that you know deep down is where you want and should be in your body because you've decided, whatever that is for you.

So I want you to consider that doubling down is not just the actions that you're taking, like allowing hunger, eating less sugar, etc. It's up leveling the quality of your thoughts. So I want to say that again. It's up leveling the quality of your thinking. In the past, doubling down might have felt like a lot of deprivation, signing up for more restriction.

That's because likely you were solely focused on the actions, what you needed to do or stop doing. Now we need that. We need to be really clear on what you need to do and what you need to stop doing, some sort of plan. But if you don't change your approach, meaning how you're currently thinking and feeling, you won't be able to change your actions.

Or if you do, it will feel like you'll be taking those actions with that feeling of restriction and deprivation. So of course it It usually peters out, right? You can't hold on to those actions. You can't continue doing it because it feels so bad. So what are the most powerful thoughts that you could have?

If we are going to up level your thinking, just by listening to this episode, what might that look like? I love the idea of borrowing thoughts. So I want to give you some examples that you can start working with. So you can feel free to just take whatever of this podcast, whatever thoughts that I'm offering you, whichever ones resonate with you and just leave the rest.

Here's one. I'm going to do what is essential for weight loss and have ease with it. So notice the difference here with, I want this to be easier. Okay. I'm going to say that again, instead of I want this to be easier, I'm going to do what is essential for weight loss and have ease doing it. So notice the distinction there.

I want this to be easier, gets you nowhere. It's like, I want this to be different than what I'm currently experiencing, which creates suffering. When we say, I'm going to do what is essential for weight loss and have ease doing it, then we are priming our brain to create ease. What might ease, or it being easy, feel like for you?

It might mean I turn down food without any mind drama. I don't make a big deal about it. It might mean I decide, you know, this is hard for a lot of people, but not really for me. Like you could try that, you could try that thought on, and then you can, your brain will start looking for evidence. So look at all the ways that this is in fact pretty easy for me.

You might make a list on paper, all of the things about it that is easy. So maybe you have no problem working out regularly. For many people, that's a challenge. They can't get in the habit of doing that. Or maybe you don't overeat at your meals. Or maybe you have no problem allowing hunger. And intermittent fasting is like not a big deal for you.

Or maybe it's more like you drink a lot of water most days and you have great sleep habits. Whatever parts are easy for you, highlight that for your brain. Another way to get your brain on board is just to take a moment and kindly tell your brain, okay, when it comes to food, things are going to be a little different around here.

Right? That's what we want to talk to ourselves. Be gentle. But things are going to be different from now on. We're not going to use food as a weapon. We're not going to use it as an escape anymore. We're not going to try to chase a feeling like relaxation or fun with food. We're just like not going to do that anymore.

And most importantly, if we have a setback, we're going to treat ourselves kindly and move forward. Okay. So I don't want doubling down to be a euphemism for being hard on myself or being super strict or in any way withholding kindness, like that weight loss at any cost mentality. I hope when you think about doubling down on your weight loss plan and believing in it, it feels as if you are doubling down on the relationship you have with yourself.

That it means, instead of overeating or turning to food, even out of habit, or when you're, especially when you're not physically hungry, that you reconnect with yourself. That may mean feeling more sad, or some resentment, or some overwhelm, or low level anxiety. Or high level anxiety, because that's what's true for you in that specific moment, because when you take food away as an option, it's likely all of that will come up for you that may be up until this point, kind of kept in check with food because we preoccupied with food and a weight loss issue or a weight problem.

But the great news is that then. If you remove food as an option, it really requires you to learn new and healthier ways of dealing with that. Dealing with life and dealing with all of those emotions and states of being. Okay, so I've often said, you know, the biggest reason that I hear from women who are reluctant to reach out for coaching with me is the belief that they won't be able to do it.

Because of so many past failed attempts. And that might be the case for you too. And I know how true that can seem. Your brain has so much evidence for that. But then of course, you feel defeated. So even if you decide, okay, I'm going to double down, there's still that sense of failure, that sense of defeat that's following you and you don't give yourself the full opportunity to invest in yourself, to put effort, time, and money towards something that's meaningful to you.

So instead of trying to believe 100 percent that you'll reach your natural weight in a way that feels completely doable or even that you'll release the next 10 pounds, I want you to try on this thought. The only belief that truly matters for your success is that if you work at this, meaning you get better at the skills required, you will see improvement over time.

Like that's guaranteed. You definitely will see improvement over time if you get better at skills by putting in the work. So here's another one for believing in yourself. I don't need to believe 100 percent of the time, but I can get back into inspiration, belief in myself. So how do you do that? You might do that by listening to a podcast like this.

You might do that by doing a meditation or listening to music or getting out in nature or reconnecting with what is easy for you or reconnecting with when have you been successful in the past? How can you recreate that? What is possible for you? It's simply a matter of your effort and time. You can believe that simply a matter of your effort and time and your natural weight is guaranteed.

So if you've implemented what I've been teaching here on the podcast and you are seeing success already, or if you're starting to believe that you can master these skills to release weight, you think maybe it's possible for me and you want the most direct way forward, then I really want to help you. I know you might be thinking, well, Just keep doing this on my own for a little while.

I just want to keep trying it and on my own and see what happens and I totally get that because we prize independence. We prize bootstrapping and figuring things out on our own instead of reaching out for help. So it's like, What's the most efficient way of learning a new language? If you, so my dad is Danish, so I'll use this as an example.

If you arrive in Denmark and speak absolutely zero Danish, you will pick it up, but you will be fumbling through the whole time. If you have someone there with you, teaching you, guiding you, helping you course correct, giving you encouragement when you say something and you feel really embarrassed, right, or offering tips on what to say and how to say it.

You'll learn much faster and probably have a more enjoyable experience learning. So you do not need coaching to release weight at all. You don't, you can get there on your own for sure. I have many people that have reached out to me saying that they've had success just by listening to the podcast.

That's amazing. But I do think that if you've been at this for a little while and you're just kind of tired of doing it on your own, right? And you're ready to go all in on yourself with this. And if you want the most efficient strategy, then I do recommend that you explore coaching with me. So I'll coach you on some of those skills that I talked about, befriending hunger, choosing foods that serve you, stopping at enough, managing your thoughts and processing your feelings.

So if any of those skills you feel like you could improve upon, then You'd be a perfect candidate because that's what we're going to focus on and do it in the most efficient way possible using your brain. It comes from you, right? So that you can have these skills for life. So go ahead and sign up on my wait list.

You can go to mindful shape. com to sign up there. I have openings now, so I will get back to you right away and set up a call. It's super informal and there's no pressure. You really just get a chance to talk about what's going on for you. We take a look at where you are. Where you want to go and what's getting in the way so that I can really help you feel good about whatever the next steps make sense for you for where you're at right now.

Okay. I will talk to you again soon. I hope this was helpful. I really encourage you double down. It's totally within your power. You can do it. Okay. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.