Hi and welcome to the Mindful Shape podcast. I’m Paula Parker, a life coach for weight loss. Before we begin I want to let you know about a free training I’m doing on How to Lose Weight for the Last Time. If you have been at this for a while and you still feel like you're missing something and are confused as to why you’re not seeing the results you want, join me next week. I’ll be hosting a live webinar Tuesday Dec. 7th at 5pm Pacific, 8pm Eastern time. I’m going to be sharing everything you need to know to truly release the extra weight you have now. I know you already know so much but if you are still not where you want to be and you’re in food drama - you really need to come to this training. If you come live you’ll be able to ask me questions in the chat too and I’ll have time at the end to answer all of them. I’ll also talk about my coaching program at the very end too so if you have questions about that, it’s a great place to ask them. So, if you would like to register for that, simply to my website at mindfulshape.com. You can also find the link in the bio. 

So listen, it’s December tomorrow. For many of us that means baking, it means over drinking and using food and alcohol to deal with our in-laws. Not me by the way, mine are great, but I’m sure for many of you this is a thing. Or maybe because of COVID or for whatever reason this is going to be a really quiet time for you but you still aren’t sure if you’re ready to do what it takes to lose the weight. Is now a good time for this?

You may have clicked on this episode thinking you already knew what I was going to say, that NOW is the time to lose weight right? Why wait? There’s no better time to start than now. And although there can be some truth in that, in this episode I want to explore where your head might be about how you approach your next attempt to lose weight because it’s going to make such a difference to your success. And I’ll share some red flags that indicate that you’re not yet ready - that now isn’t the time for you to be taking this on.

I think the right time to lose weight is when you’re ready. 

And here’s how you know you’re ready. 

1. You think you’ve tried everything and are now very skeptical. Good. By now you should have a healthy degree of skepticism about any diet. You’re not going to fall for the latest crash diet disguised as a celery juice cleanse. What you want to be looking for is a way of eating that’s sustainable for the rest of your lifetime - not a quick fix in which you’ll cut carbs, drop 10lbs of water weight, feel starving and then gain the weight back. You’re ready because here’s the one thing you haven’t tried...choosing a protocol, sticking with it and managing all the thoughts and feelings that come up when you do that. So when you have the thought, “I’ve tried everything already” remember, you’ve tried a lot to be sure, but you haven’t tried everything. And how we know is that you haven’t solved your weight problem.

2. You’re sick and tired of dealing with your food and weight issues. And I’m talking about really sick and tired. So it’s not like you’re casually thinking, Yeah, I could drop a few pounds or so but I also enjoy food a lot. If food and your body image has been plaguing you your entire life and you’re still feeling ambivalent about making changes, you’re probably not ready to make changes. Now I’m not calling you out, and it IS still possible for you, if that’s you but for most people, they have to REALLY be in the depths of hell before they will decide, okay I’m at my wits end - enough is enough I’m ready to change. It’s unfortunate. But as you do more thoughtwork and can manage your brain, you don’t have to let it get so bad before you feel capable and desire change. 

3. You DECIDE to be ready. Your brain is so powerful. Your brain is what’s going to bring your goals to you whether it’s weight loss, or a promotion, or anything else. When I do my meetups, or have calls with women, I see how often we give our power away without even realizing it. We give so, so much power to our past - to what we did yesterday, the weekend or what we’ve been doing for years. We don’t allow ourselves to DECIDE we’re capable of change. And if you’ve been paying attention, you know that that decision means you’ve decided to be all in, no matter what emotions come up. And know that it’s totally okay to feel all of it. Like deprivation, I hear that one the most. And I had to deal with this myself - why are we so afraid to feel deprived. What does it even feel like? Is it so bad to be deprived of ice cream? Of chocolate cake? What’s so bad about that really. You can decide that you’re ready for some deprivation and you are strong enough to handle it.

4. You’re willing to be wrong. No one wants to be wrong right? We tend to resist it at all costs. We learn pretty quickly as children that if we raise our hand and we’re wrong, others will judge us or laugh at us. We think there’s no upside to being wrong about what we know. But here’s the thing. IF you are willing to be wrong, then it means there is a ton of room for growth. What if a lot of the presumptions you had about what it takes to lose weight are wrong? What if it’s actually not hard at all? I have one client who has simply followed her protocol and is losing weight consistently every week. She’s told me that on a day to day basis it’s straightforward and she could follow this protocol for the rest of her life easily. Imagine that. Just imagine if you never wanted to overeat again. What if you’re wrong that you can’t lose weight easily? That you’re an emotional eater? That you’re a binge eater? How are those labels really serving the fullest version of yourself? And might be thinking, well I do know I emotionally eat or I do know I binge. So what. I say so what to that. We don’t need to pathologize it all. How about you ate food. That’s the truth. The truth is you ate food. When I think of you, all of the women who listen to this podcast, I want you to know I don’t think of you as emotional eaters or binge eaters or even as overeaters actually. I think of you as women who know exactly how to treat your bodies well, if only the thought errors weren’t in the way. That’s how I think of it. You simply have some thoughts about food that are incorrect. Often, that food is the solution. In the moment, your brain provides food as the solution to being hungry, tired, bored and anxious. But it’s not the solution. You must be willing to be wrong about that. 

Be willing to be wrong about how quickly it SHOULD happen. I don’t even remember where I learned it, I think from Dr. Phil actually said that we should lose 2lbs a week. And I think I heard that when I was 14 watching Dr. Phil on Oprah and I had that idea in my mind for probably 20 years. That to be succeeding at weight loss, you needed to be losing 2lbs a week. Well, now that this is my profession I can let you in on the truth. There is no rule around succeeding at weight loss. It’s all made up. Success for some is 1lb a week, that’s what most - not all - but most of my clients see. Some of you might not lose weight for weeks but your body gets all jiggly until it shows up on the scale and you drop 5lbs in a week. We need to remember that weight loss is a PROCESS. It takes the body 2-7 days on average to shrink fat cells in our body and then we exhale it out. Isn’t that wild. Where does that fat go? We breathe it out. There’s a piece of trivia I bet you didn’t know you’d get today. So just because Dr. Phil said 2lbs a week or you have in your mind that your body needs to drop fat on a certain timeline, it doesn’t mean it’s right. 

Okay one more thing about being willing to be wrong then I’ll share the red flags that tell you, yeah know maybe it’s not the best time. Maybe you’re not ready to lose the weight right now. 

Be willing to be wrong that you should be able to do it on your own. I recently watched a docu series on Netflix. Shoot I wish I could remember the name. If I can find it, I’ll put it in the show notes for you. It featured athletic coaches and their stories and it had some really big names - really famous athletes like Serena Williams - her coach. What was so interesting is how much mindset work these coaches provide. It makes sense right. I mean, Serena William’s coach can observe her technique and provide help, but she’s the one with the skill and talent, way above his right? His role is to help her reach her full potential with all of that skill and talent and that’s all mindset. Now these people are extreme examples right, they’re at the top of their industry, there are millions of dollars at stake if they win or lose. So of course they have a coach right? No one questions it. Imagine if Serena was like, yeah know I think I’ll go it alone the next few years. No right? Why? Because no one does it alone. To reach your fullest potential at anything, to reach the fullest expression of yourself it requires help. I truly believe that the best investment you can ever make is in your mental game. 

If you are someone who thinks they should be able to do it on their own, because you know what healthy eating is all about, but you aren’t making the progress you’d like, then I hope you’ll hear this message. Whether it’s me or some other program, you will get results so much more efficiently with support and expertise. 

So how do you know if you’re NOT ready to launch into another weight loss plan? There are 3 red flags to look out for.

First, you’re doing it for a competition, weight loss challenge or your friend wants you to do her plan with her. This is a red flag for me because most often the reasons are not of the highest caliber here. Yeah, you might lose weight in a workplace competition and win some money, but like that seems pretty surface level. It’s not likely to last because it’s short sighted. What happens after the competition or challenge? Most likely the incentive is gone, the novelty and excitement is gone and you’re left with your old habits again. Same goes for doing something simply because your friend has roped you in. I’m not saying this can never work, support is great if it’s working. But I think in most cases, if we’re not managing our brains, one person will want to eat off the plan and either hide it and feel shame or talk the other person into indulging in the food with her. Or one person is getting success and the other isn’t and there’s comparison going on and a lot of mixed emotion. Now again, I’m not saying all of that can’t be managed but just some things to be aware of if you’re considering doing something like this. 

Second, a super restrictive diet or juice fast or cleanse is appealing to you. You’re thinking I’ll just drop some weight fast so I can feel better and then I’ll eat super healthy after that. I’ll figure it out then when I’m 5lbs down and my life is a million times better. I’m joking, but not really. Our brains tell us that, don't they? This is a big red flag because frankly you’re not ready for permanent weight loss if you’re still looking for the quick fix - the escape button on feeling hungry sometimes, sad, anxious, bored, tired. 

And lastly you’re not ready if you simply don’t want to. Yeah, if you’re feeling a lot of resistance and hesitation about yet another weight loss attempt. What if you allowed yourself to stop worrying about every morsel you put in your body and instead, started focusing on what’s happening in your head. So this isn’t a license to go wild with food and eat all the things because you’re “not trying to lose weight” right now. It’s just taking the foot of the gas for a while. Giving yourself rest, some space might be exactly what you need and ironically, exactly the next step on your weight loss journey.

Okay quick recap: even though the holidays are coming, it may be the perfect time for you to lose the weight if you’re ready. You may be ready if you say yes to the following:

1. You’ve tried everything and doubt anything will work for you. Check. You understand there are no quick fixes and this is a mental game.

2. You’re sick and tired of dealing with your food and weight issues. How many more months, years are you willing to group around in the dark here? None? Then you’re ready.

3. You want to DECIDE to be ready. You get to just decide you are.

4. You’re willing to be wrong. What you’re currently believing about yourself and the weight loss process might need to be questioned.

If this is you, I want to invite you to set up a call with me because you are perfect for my weight loss coaching program. I work one-on-one in private sessions to help you unpack all of the thinking that has created your current weight. Then we can focus on rebuilding the thinking that will guarantee your goal weight. Yes, I said guarantee. If you have a number in mind, I’m telling you it’s feasible. 

If you said yes to the red flags it means you simply need either more time, more support or both before diving into a weight loss program and getting lasting success. If you’re doing it solely for a competition, you’re still contemplating that celery juice fast, or you simply don’t want to sign up for the work it will take, you may not be ready. 

If this is you and you want to BE ready, let me help you exactly where you are. To book a consultation with me, click on the link in the show notes or go to my website at mindfulshape.com. Trust me, it’s nothing scary - it’s simply a block of time where we get to meet, explore your specific situation and see if coaching is right for you. It may not be, but why not find out. 

And I hope you’ll join me next week for my free training on How to Lose Weight for the Last Time. There is going to be so much in there I wish I would have learned when I was a teenager and in my twenties. Literally, knowing what I know now and all the years of trial and error, I would have spent thousands of dollars to save me from that grief and you’ll get all of that in this webinar for free! I want you to know this. You need to know this stuff. It’s Tues Dec 7th at 5pm Pacific 8pm ET. To register, go to my website mindfulshape.com and you’ll see it both in a pop up and at the very top of the screen. 

Enjoy the rest of your day. I’ll talk to you soon.