This is for you if you’re starting to feel wobbly  - if the scale didn’t go down today and it’s affecting your state of mind. Or for any reason you’re feeling down and less hopeful that you’ll get where you want to be. We have all been there at one time or another. We all need a pep talk every now and then. 

Here’s my pep talk for you.

This is a mental game. The primitive part of our brain, I like to call it the survival brain, is wired to spot danger, seek pleasure and avoid pain. Danger for us isn’t going to mean a saber-tooth - it can be anything negative. It can mean not seeing the number on the scale you hoped for. 

So you’re hardwired to notice when things aren’t going well and this is a useful tool. It highlights where you may need to take action and grow as a human being. Which I think, is what we’re all here to do anyway. 

Take a deep breath. Relax. Nothing is going wrong. 

Weight loss is 80% a mental game and 20% math. By that I mean, your eating and workout plan is key but it only uses about 20% of your brain power. Pick a plan, any plan - if it’s healthy and you’re not at a food surplus, great.

But sticking to that plan requires 80% of your brain power. While you spend 20% of your time planning your meals, food prep and eating, you need to spend the rest working on your mind. 

So if you’re in a funk at this moment, that’s totally okay - there’s nothing going wrong. Welcome to the 80%. 

The fact that you are even listening to this or reading the transcript right now is a big deal.

It means the part of you that’s already in alignment with your goal weight is still going strong.

So you may not feel particularly strong right now - but take comfort that just by taking this action, in this moment, you are doing the mindful work that’s required for lasting weight loss. 

This is what your future thin self does when she’s wobbly. She takes a new action - any action. Because in every new action there is learning. She doesn’t give up - she doesn’t let thoughts of ‘it’s no use, I can start again tomorrow, or I’ll never reach my goal weight’ get in her way. Instead she hears those voices in her head - she listens and then makes them not matter. Thanks for sharing.

Here’s the thing. Feeling like this - seeing the scale not move or even go up is part of your weight loss journey. It is NEVER a straight diagonal line down to your goal weight. Nature just doesn’t work in straight lines. It’s organic and messy. You are a natural being. 

When you get on the scale and it doesn’t show you a number you like, you are in a very powerful position. Stay with me here. That number is completely neutral. It’s arbitrary. It’s relative. For someone else, that number may be their goal weight and they would be jumping for joy right now.

It’s what your brain is making up about it that makes you feel one way or another.

So take a minute and just listen to what your brain is telling you - maybe something like, this isn’t working, my plan sucks, I’m failing, I was feeling good before but now look, I’ll never lose the weight, this is futile..hopeless...what’s the point?” 

These thoughts feel automatic don’t they? And you know what - at this point they probably are. You’ve probably got on that scale and been disappointed enough times that your brain is like - oh yeah I know this. Those neural pathways are deeply ingrained - like superhighways. See a ‘bad’ number - think negative thoughts. 

But here’s the bright side: this is totally optional.

We get to choose the thoughts about that number on the scale. We get to decide what it means for us. We can tell ourselves a new story - one that supports our weight loss journey. Not one that makes us feel like crap and sabotages us. I invite you to write a list of as many new thoughts as are resonate for you. Here’s some examples:

I’m not there...yet. A subtle but important distinction. You can add “yet” to almost any negative thought.

My plan isn’t working yet. I know that if I stay on my plan, that number WILL go down. It’s just math.

When you stay on your plan, you will see that scale go down eventually. Don’t let that number deter you. Your brain wants to avoid discomfort and go back to its old ways because they are safe and familiar and comforting. You don’t have to listen. You get to choose who you want to be. Happiness is dependent on external circumstances but peace comes from what’s going on inside your head. 

You don’t have to feel chipper right now.

You don’t have to feel super enthusiastic, but maybe you can find some strength in your resolution not to get pulled down by those old, outdated neural pathways. “Thanks for sharing. I choose to keep going. No matter what the scale says today.” Because when you do this, eventually the scale will come around and you will see that number you want. 

It’s about managing your thoughts when you don’t see the evidence yet. It’s about ignoring what you see on the outside because you know change is happening within and it’s only a matter of time.

Think of how powerful this is truly. If you can get really good at this skill, what would be possible for you? With your weight and in your life? 

And can I also just say this goes for trying on clothes in terrible dressing rooms with horrible lighting. You can decide in that moment when you look in the reflection to send yourself the most loving thoughts you possibly can.

You may have a mental concept that losing weight is hard.

That it’s a struggle.

How can you let go of that? 

You start by looking for and accentuating the positive aspects. Now I know if you’re really suffering this can feel impossible. But I’m not talking about going from a 2/10 to a 9/10 on the enthusiasm scale. It’s more like, how can we shift you from a 2 to a 3 or 4 today. 

Identify the good parts of your journey and spend time thinking about them.

This may be simply the feeling you have at the end of the day when you’ve eaten healthy. Or the euphora you feel after a workout. You may have other physical benefits like less bloating, and feeling lethargic. 

Also, look at your face. Women tend to first lose weight top down, which means their face leans out first. You may be noticing your cheekbones are on point! 

Likely, you’re listening to yourself more, you’re paying attention instead of going on conscious and automatically turning to food. You’re buffering your life less and less with food. Which means you may be getting clear on the areas of your life that aren’t working. And then you can start thinking more about what you do want for yourself, whether that’s in the realm of relationship, career, travel, whatever. When you’re not using food to distract and tolerate your life, you begin to see clearly what is causing you pain. 

I know for me, that over the years I spent so much time on buffering so that I didn’t have to face being out of alignment with money, career or my relationship. For years my brain focused on what or how much I had eaten, what I was going to eat next, what foods I wanted, but also didn’t want and creating a bunch of inner turmoil around it.  Then if I had those foods or over ate I spent time vowing to never have them again and fixated on some diet variation. So much time and energy that could have been spent on creating or connecting which is where I am most fulfilled. 

But this is meant to be a pep talk, so listen. You are leaving that behind. If it feels hard, that’s okay. It means you’re doing it right. Because you are changing and that can feel uncomfortable. But it won’t last forever, I promise you. It will get easier. 

When you stop buffering, you start to create a life that you don’t need to tolerate anymore, but one that you actually love. This is the journey.

Remember you’re not alone. There are thousands of women just like you who got on the scale, stood in that fitting room and had all the same thoughts and felt the same disappointment; who felt discouraged today. Think about them and send them encouragement too.

They can do it and so can you. 

That’s my pep talk for you today. Talk to you next week.